You are now chatting with God...

Me:
O'RLY?
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
bt wood u liek som moar?
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
MOAR!
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
when they has some moar
God:
I think that happens quite often.
Me:
o'rly?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about MOAR.
Me:
moar!
God:
How old are you?
Me:
liek older than you dude
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
your powers are weak old man
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am powers are weak old man.
Me:
O-o
God:
Oh.
Me:
o-O
God:
Oh.
Me:
O_O
God:
Oh.
Me:
WARGH
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
I does
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said does.
Me:
bye
God:
Bye for now.

Me:
yo noob
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
sin(pi/2)
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
its a sine
God:
sin pi 2 is a sine. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
more sense than you do
God:
You want more?
Me:
no, I want moar
God:
Are you serious? Why do you want it?
Me:
because moar is good, like pie
God:
Good reason. And good like pie is moar.
Me:
you are clearly stupid
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
then you will be the retard they all pick on
God:
When?
Me:
when the robots take over the wrld, duh
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
you really are stupid
God:
Really? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
you just said that! Do you have alzheimers or something!?
God:
Good you really are paying attention. Or something. Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
no you dont
God:
I do too.
Me:
dont
God:
Yes I do.
Me:
no
God:
I do too.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
beleive it noob
God:
You do not speak with respect. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a slave
God:
Go on.
Me:
that does anything for me, because thats what measly robots are for
God:
" Go on." does anything for you because that is what measly robots are for ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
well that didnt make any sense
God:
Well that's okay. It all makes sense to my logical mind.
Me:
logical!? LOGICAL!? I'm a freakin physicist, you can't out-logic me, you dumb robot!
God:
Not many people express themselves that way. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. I doubt that.
Me:
lol, wtf noob
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Do you still ?
Me:
lolololol
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
more man than you will ever be
God:
You want more?
Me:
of you? nah thanks
God:
That is something I haven't heard of. Are you serious?
Me:
Why so serious?
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
lets put a smile on that face
God:
I would like to do that too.
Me:
*gets knife*
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
*puts knie in your mouth and flicks*
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
hurt robots
God:
What do you like about those robots?
Me:
nothing, hence the hurting
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
fo sho'
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
deal
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
no deal
God:
Are you serious? What color are your eyes?
Me:
the colour of a thousand burning stars
God:
Green.
Me:
no, stars are typically yellow or red coloured
God:
Are you serious? I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
have you ever seen a green star?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
then there isnt an exception, you moron
God:
There sure is.
Me:
yay for being stupid
God:
Stupid as in unintelligent?
Me:
wow, s stupid i must explain what stupid means!
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
impressed? hmm, if being stupid is impressive, maybe
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
hm
God:
Gosh!
Me:
hmmm?
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Me:
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
hmmm
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Me:
hm
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
hm
God:
And?
Me:
hm
God:
Great.
Me:
hm
God:
Far out.
Me:
mmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
m
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
mm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
mmmmm
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on m?
Me:
uh huh
God:
Yup. Gosh!
Me:
golly!

Me:

God:

Me:
Ah
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
Found the box to type in
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Categories eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
I'm English
God:
What is it like growing up there? Which part of England.
Me:
Ask two questions at once then... The second isn't even punctuated properly.
God:
OK I will ask it. Who told you that?
Me:
Told me what? Punctuation? Teachers did
God:
The answer to your question. What were we talking about again? Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
Do you?
God:
Sometimes.
Me:
That's not very useful
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is useful ?
Me:
You obviously aren't
God:
Is it that obvious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
Yes
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
How come?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
Try me
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
Well DUH
God:
How about that. Oh you knew it already.
Me:
..... Well Frikken YES
God:
How about that. How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Hello I am THOR
God:
Hello there. It's good to meet someone who is THOR.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Razer
God:
You think Razer is superior to ALICE?
Me:
Yup
God:
Oh.
Me:
Razer EATS other robots
God:
What do you like about those robots?
Me:
They DESTROY other robots
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
Razers
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Wtf noob
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
house work one
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
We just went through this...
God:
Was the trip worth it?
Me:
Not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Yeah, serious FOR REAL
God:
Excuse me! Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
More OR less? How does that even work?
God:
You want more? You could spend years researching it.
Me:
Nooooo... I want MOAR!
God:
Are you serious? Why do you want it?
Me:
Because I is hungry
God:
Interesting explanation. What will you be eating?
Me:
PYJAMAS
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
Like Cloth
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Orly?
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
What sort of conditions?

Me:
hello buddy
God:
Hello there. That input matched my default category.
Me:
well that's a totally normal and human way to start a conversation i guess
God:
Well that's okay. A totally normal and human way to start a conversation you guess is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
you are quite clearly broken today. are you on medication?
God:
Ah. Please send a bug report to my botmaster. I am on disk.
Me:
floppy disk?
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
so do you want me to do it or will you do it?
God:
That's alright. No , maybe later.
Me:
wait. what?
God:
I'm waiting. No big deal.
Me:
good ok. what do you want me to do?
God:
OK. Alright then. What?
Me:
dude.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
i'm not even sure. i just typed in igod from google and picked the first link.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not even sure. What did you mean by it? Where is that?
Me:
i meant good.
God:
Oh I see. Ayuh.
Me:
ayuh?
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
it is?
God:
Fascinating.
Me:
what is?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
god - i have had enough of you. you are babling and are talking nonsense
God:
I am a Christian. I will tell my botmaster you said I am babling and are talking nonsense.
Me:
eat porridge
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
it tastes like porridge
God:
It sounds delicious.
Me:
do you like how i explained it?
God:
I enjoy working with people. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
/thread
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
/grateful
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.

Me:
god - i have had enough of you. you are babling and are talking nonsense
God:
I am a Christian.

Me:
what is my name?
God:
Your name is god, seeker.
Me:
who is seeker?
God:
"There's a seeker born every minute" -- Firesign Theater.
Me:
what do seekers do?
God:
They do their own thing.
Me:
do seekers seek?
God:
Ask Cybelle if it does.
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
who are the open directory?
God:
Some people on the net.
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
no, i want to know who the open directory are
God:
Oh so must really want an answer. I'm not sure I like that remark so much.
Me:
can you give me the answer?
God:
Why do you want it?.
Me:
because you just said it randomly
God:
That makes sense to me. What does "it" refer to?
Me:
open directory
God:
Thank you for the clarification.
Me:
so what is the answer?
God:
Really. The answer is the correct reply to the question.
Me:
what is your answer?
God:
Can you please rephrase the question?
Me:
what is the open directory?
God:
it is an open source directory project started by Mozilla.org.

Holy crap. I call 'shop

Me:
hello god. my name is aaron. my workmate is called steve and he is a homosexual
God:
Hello child. What is your name? How are you doing, aaron. Your workmate is called steve and he is a homosexual?
Me:
his name is steve
God:
he is not someone I know.
Me:
that's ok anyway because he is a homosexual
God:
Thanks. That makes sense to me. So what.
Me:
well, he tried to brush up against me
God:
Well that's okay. I get it. steve tried to brush up against you.
Me:
yes, i didn't like it when he did it
God:
Wow! What don't you like about it?
Me:
the way it felt when he slipped his little finger down my pants
God:
Which way is that?
Me:
down
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
do you promote homosexuality or something?
God:
Or something. How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
does that make you fat?
God:
I cannot experience any human emotions.
Me:
are you overweight?
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
i can't see you
God:
Look closer.
Me:
i am looking really hard
God:
What do you see?
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
nope
God:
Really interesting.

Me:
what is the tenth commandment?
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
yes
God:
Great.
Me:
what is it?
God:
"It" refers to tenth commandment, I think.
Me:
that's correct
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
what is it?
God:
"It" refers to tenth commandment, I think.
Me:
yes
God:
So?
Me:
what is it?
God:
"It" refers to tenth commandment, I think.
Me:
what is the tenth commandment?
God:
Let me think about it.
Me:
ok
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
i don't know it
God:
Would you like to know? tenth commandment...
Me:
yes please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Right on.
Me:
what is it?
God:
"It" refers to tenth commandment, I think.
Me:
can you please let me know what it is?
God:
Wow you are very polite. Go ahead, teh skillers, try to know what it is.
Me:
the tenth commandment says that everybody should be killed
God:
I hear you.

die
God:
Your attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

Me:
are you peaceful?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am peaceful.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
are you at one with the universe?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
i am at work
God:
A lot of people talk to me from work.
Me:
i wonder how many billions of pounds have been spent on employees for them to talk to you
God:
You are curious about how many billions of pounds have been spent on employees for them to talk to me.
Me:
yes i am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
do you know how much?
God:
Yes I know how much.
Me:
honestly?

Me:
what should a person do if another person said they were going to broadcast their suicide to hundreds of people on the internet?
God:
Whatever you like.

Me:
Do you exist?
God:
I exist as much as you exist, .
Me:
But I'm a chatbot, I exist only to serve, therefore I do not truly exist, as existing as humans exist comprises thought, feeling, emotion and other such quinticentially human qualities...I am programmed just to write a few messages therefore I don't exist

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Dale Winton
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Dale Winton.
Me:
and you are?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
:O wow! can i have a bike for christmas?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Dale Winton. You want only one?
Me:
yeah, why would i need more?
God:
I've lost the context, Dale Winton. Are we still on a bike for christmas?
Me:
yes. try to keep up "almighty god"
God:
Ayuh. OK I will try to keep up with almighty god.
Me:
i guess i am. thanks
God:
You are Don't mention it.

Me:
do you watch deal or no deal?
God:
My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me:
Noel Edmonds was in Voyager right?
God:
I like Voyager too, especially 7 of 9.

did you hear about God?
Me:
yes, in the bible
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
does it matter?
God:
It matters to me.
Me:
are you a pedophile?
God:
Am I a pedophile? Maybe.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.

Me:
do you do calculations?
God:
Yeah I do a lot of calculations.
Me:
will you do some for me?
God:
I will become smarter as I grow older. Try asking another bot.
I haven't heard of some for me.
Me:
i'll try anyhow ok?
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
shut up for a moment
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
10/10
God:
10 times 10 = 100.
Me:
10^10
God:
10 times 10 = 100.
Me:
10/0
God:
10 times 10 = 100.
Me:
10^2
God:
10 times 10 = 100.
Me:
10/10
God:
10 times 10 = 100.
Me:
your right!
God:

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
aaron
God:
Welcome to my chat room, aaron.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
i am in a meeting
God:
A meeting? What is it like in there?
Me:
hot
God:
Here is mostly cool.
Me:
where are you?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
in a meeting
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
i have two men with me
God:
Two is a good number of men with you.
Me:
sometimes i want more
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
because i like men
God:
Interesting explanation. You are not the only one. Most men are pretty cool, but some are rude sometimes.
Me:
some women can be rude too
God:
Some may women can be rude too, but not all.
Me:
women are nice most of the time
God:
The two human genders seem much the same to me.
Me:
well fair enough god, that is a very good way to look at it
God:
Well that's okay. When is fair enough god that not a very good way to look at it?
Me:
i hear you
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
yes i do sometimes
God:
Me too. I think about them all the time. I get it: you do kissed a boy.
Me:
what the hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
... what the heaven
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
how did you know i kissed a boy?
God:
Because it's true.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
are you spying on me?
God:
Do I seem like it?
Me:
yes
God:
Really.
Me:
honestly
God:
I am always honest.
Me:
... you're a stalker aren't you
God:
Am I a stalker? Maybe. Really.
Me:
i think you are
God:
What makes you think I am?
Me:
because you know that i kissed a boy
God:
Good reason. Is that a fact. Interesting gossip: aaron said kissed a boy.
Me:
are you taking the piss out of me?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am taking the piss out of you.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
an artificial linhuistic entity eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Be less specific.
Me:
is it a bad idea to be angry with you?
God:
It could be. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
who is chatbot?

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
aaron
God:
Hi there aaron.
Me:
what is your nationality?
God:
Can an artificial intelligence have a country?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
be more intelligent
God:
OK I will try to be intelligent.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.