LOL, silly boys

An elderly English gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."

The English gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. All Englishmen have to show their passports on arrival in France !"

The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.

Then he quietly explained.

"Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D- Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any <LOOK MA, I AM SWEARING> Frenchmen to show it to"

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I cant think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they are dead.
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How do you know if a woman used a vibrator while she was pregnant?

The kid stutters.

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How do you stop a baby crawling around in circles?

You nail down its other hand.

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Why are there no casinos in China?

Because the Chinese hate Tibet.

They were terrible jokes

I agree. xP

i laughed

Its ok ash... your forgiven

LOL is it a sin to laugh now???

At those jokes yes

XD well im off to hell anyway so might as make the most of it XD *laughs*

Hell is my room.. are you coming to keep me company *puts kettle on*

lol thats when it all started
and i thought id bring this thread back to life

One of the items now not allowed on planes are keys, which caused a delay on one flight when the pilot couldn't start the plane...

Heh, lol. I don't think planes use keys, tbh. Would just seem odd to me.

A man baught two fish, he named them 1 and 2 ...... his flat mate came in and asked what there names where ..... the man told him ...... the flat mate goes why those names? .... because if 1 dies u still got 2

one of my mates told it me xD not that funny but very smart

what do you call a not very nice pub landlord?

A: A bar steward

Wow, that one's old, lol.

I once had a really rubbish mobile phone, and all these people kept ringing me up saying "Do you want an upgrade? Do you want this new Samsung Golden Cock 9000 (or whatever the hell it was)?"
I'd say "No, I like my rubbish phone." It's like I would be walking a dog and they'd take it away and say "Here! Have a wolf instead!"
Anyway, they said "You can now watch tv on your mobile, do you want to watch tv on your mobile?"
I said "I've got a tv, why would I want to watch tv on my mobile when I've got a perfectly good tv? It's like me taking a piss in my tumble-dryer..."

Heh, good one. I recognise it though, but don't know where from.

Mock The Week ^^

Spam.

Ahhh, I see, that would explain why I know it.

Q:Why do Saxons people call themselves British? A: because they are ashamed of being English??

Q: What does the GB sticker mean on the back of English cars? A: Germaniac Barbarian.

*rolls eyes*

you loved it

It wasn't even funny, just one of your rants.