tata lol

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.

In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue.

The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "green side up!"

In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow.

He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "green side up!"

The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing.

In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color.

The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "green side up!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"

"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

LOL FUNNY XP

what do you get when u cross an elephant and a kangeroo?
an elefaloo!!

lol.


why do girls jump down the toilet?
to join the brownies lol

Old one;

What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo;
A woolly jumper (cue groaning)

CLASSICS!

Rubbish classics. Hmm, we need penguin wrappers...

whats black and white and read all over?
a newspaper muahahahahaaahahlol

Or a penguin with sunburn...

Either way, terrible joke.

dont dis thats my faveourite
ne1 else got ne?

Are Computers Male or Female?

A language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

"House" in French, is feminine -"la maison," "Pencil" in French, is masculine "le crayon."

One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?" The teacher did not know, and the word was not in her French dictionary.

So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine "le computer") because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model.

Though strictly speaking computers are called ordinateur in French, so is actually l'ordinateur.

From http://www.lol.com.

a blonde walks into a store, spotting a tv in the corner of the shop.

the blonde goes over to the store manager and asks "how much is the tv?" the store manager stares at the blonde and says "we dnt serve blondes"

the blonde goes home rejected and dies her hair black, and once again asks about the tv. once again "we dnt server blondes"

after several attemtps at dying her hair, and failing, the blonde cries out "why wont u serve me??!?! this isnt fair! all i wanted was to no the price of the tv!!!!"

the manager looks at the blonde and says "my dear, tht isnt a tv, its a refrigerator"

lOL, I think I read that one on LOL.com, but they were a bit nicer, they said microwave.

lol, we allready had that joke on here doc but u changed it slightly- v kwl

Ah, lol, so I read it here! xP

yes u did lol a wee bit further up

nock nock
whose there?
i need ap?
i need ap who

lol read it to urself outloud-v imature

That's just bad...

Knock know
Who's there
Doctor
Doctor Who

yes.

wot do u call a terrorist whos never been laid???

never bin laiden

*chuckles* Thats pretty funny....

I have a dodgy dalek one.


What do sex obsessed daleks say?

Ejaculate! EJACULATE!!!



Ok, I know that one was bad.

LMAO! XDXD

Mertrutititititisisisiss or whatever I didnt think you of all people would come up with a joke like that...

Yar, I made it up myself. I'd thought about posting it before but never got round to it until now.

MAKE YOUR OWN DALEK JOKE!

What do <insert related thing here> Daleks say?

E<something>ATE

That's a bit harsh, I didn't think of it that way.

Yeah, but it's how all Dalek jokes go! xP

I really haven't actually heard any dalek jokes before. Care to enlighten me?

Dalek doing maths;
Extrapolate

Dodgy dalek;
Ejack... yeah

Dalek showing some guy up (or something like that);
Emasculate

Dalek... you get the idea, and I'm not very good at these.