Someone answers you, but they don't want to talk.

I wish I did some work today

you do work, but its not your job so you dont get paid D:

i wish the bed i ordered would arrive aswell as the desk i want

I meant Uni work, getting paid wasn't gonna happen

Your furniture arrives, but promptly breaks.

I wish it wasn't 5pm already with no work done

You get all your work done, but then realise you've not only written it in invisible ink so no one can read it, but you've also done entirely the wrong bit.

I wish I was drunk.

You are drunk but then you start singing in teamspeak, Si records it and uses it to blackmail you into making love to him!

I wish I wasn't so tired...

You're not tired, but only because you slept for a week.

I wish my internet didn't suck.

I delete the "bot" but it turns out to be a person who gets deeply hurt.

I also don't have a roommate.

I wish I had a 3D gaming thing.

You have a 3D gaming thing, but you over-react when playing and because no one else can see the 3D parts you just look like an idiot, they all laugh at you and no one will be your friend.

I wish Valve would stop making such stupid updates for TF2 and take it more seriously...

Valve stop making updates, and instead decide that Team Fortress 2 was a mistake and shut it down, preventing players from playing it ever again.

I wish I had gone to bed earlier last night...

You get one and you realise its not all its cracked up to be .. also she's a man

Wish I could get warnings form someone other than DHR

You search for an encoder but only find meat spin

I wish my cat didnt lose so much hair

It doesn't lose any hair but now can't walk under the weight.

I wish I had started revising for these exams earlier.

Your wish is misheard and you become more wet

I wish that i could fly

I wish we had two threads like this at the same time.